Crypt Orchids

Crypt Orchids

Dust jacket art and design by David J. Schow
Endsheet morphing by Gail Cross
Interior graphics by Timothy Michael Caldwell

Crime. Psychos. Trashed relationships. Tainted love. Murder. Sinister plots. Evil connivances. Men in Suits with a Plan.

Bizarre flap copy.

Not to mention hustlers, losers, cutthroats, gun fetishists, homicidal hitchhikers, demented road-hogs, serial killer impersonators, government torturers, and a Ripper named Jack.

Vaudevillians (shudder).

Welcome to Crypt Orchids, where you'll also meet a cantankerous celebrity man-fish, a horror movie host who deals in the real thing, an innocent victim of a TV test screening, persnickety aliens with testicle-heads, a werewolf with a prosthetic paw, a Mikey who does, in fact, hate everything, a hit man named Mister Bart, and a temperamental geezer with a lot to say about the environment and skinning people alive.

Crypt Orchids, is the new collection of short stories by award-winning multi media author David J. Schow, a gathering of foreboding fiction that grabs the cutting edge barehanded, damns the spray of blood, and stays right in your face "until you want to go down on your knees and mumble for mercy," according to best-selling author John Farris.

As Robert Bloch once said... it takes balls to make Crypt Orchids.

Enter and be enthralled. The Management assumes no responsibility for parts of you left behind.


  • "Look Out He's Got a Knife" (Introduction) by Robert Bloch
  • "Action"
  • "Pick Me Up"
  • "Dusting the Flowers"
  • Hollywood Triptych
  • (a) "Gills"
  • (b) "Seeing Things"
  • (c) "(Melodrama)"
  • "Scoop Bites the Dust"
  • "Final Performance" (stage adaptation of "The Final Performance" by Robert Bloch)
  • "Jeff and Linda"
  • "A Punch in the Doughnut"
  • "Refrigerator Heaven"
  • "Penetration"
  • "The Incredible True Facts in the Case"
  • "Look Out He's Got a Knife ... Again!" (Afterword)

Note: The Lettered edition features an exclusive autograph page photo, with a one-of-a-kind limitation "statement" handwritten in each copy by the author.

David J. Schow
235 pages
United States
Out of Print